A very special birthday

We don't write about purely personal things very often on jkOnTheRun because that's not what you come here for.  Some things are important enough to break that rule, and since family is very important to me I am doing so here.  Today would have been my father's 91st birthday had we not lost him three years ago and I want to acknowledge that we still miss him terribly.  The best way to demonstrate that is to run the tribute I wrote after his passing.  I hope he can see this from his final resting place.  We miss you Dad.

Goodbye to a great man

My father was one of those people who understood that to achieve greatness could only be done through maintaining strength of character in all that you do.  He instilled in his children the unerring credo that you must always do the right thing.  It doesn't matter if doing the right thing is difficult, or if doing the right thing is the popular thing to do.  What matters is you always stay true to your convictions, and your actions must be consistent with your beliefs.

My father was a very simple man.  Some people might say he was too simple in this world that is growing ever more complex.  But he understood that in everything there is a right way and a wrong way to do things and the only option is to do the right thing.  He once told me you build your reputation in the world by always taking the higher ground.  You build that reputation one positive action at a time and you are the only one who can tear that reputation down through your own actions.  Not your detractors, not your enemies, only you can tear your reputation down.  He once confided in me that he didn't understand why people didn't just treat others with respect and compassion.  He was continually confused by this fact so obvious to him but one that is often not followed by others.  It's a question I cannot answer, in fact I'm not sure there is an answer.

My father instilled in me a strong work ethic, for working as hard as you can is the only way to have no doubts about yourself at the end of the day.  He taught all his children to always help others, for some day we might need help ourselves and good deeds have a way of getting repaid when the time is right.  He taught us to be strong for those around us, but not to be afraid to bend when you have to.  He was a man that others knew they could depend on in their time of need.  He taught us that leading by example was the best way to be true to yourself, and to those around you. 

My father lived a hard life, but he took that in stride and did the best that he could with the cards he was dealt.  And in so doing, he taught us to do the same.  Don't cry about it, fix it was his philosophy, and it was a lesson hard learned, as important lessons often are.  He showed us that when you have troubles, the best course is often to set your own troubles aside and help those less fortunate than yourself.  Most importantly of all, he taught us that we are not the most important thing in the world.  Instead, the most important things were those around us.  He lived his life being there for the people that needed him, and those who knew and loved him will always thank him for that.

My father always led by example and to those of us fortunate enough to know him that example was a very good one.  He was not a man to get lost in the fluff of life, instead he believed you lay a solid foundation in the life that you have and then you build on that foundation until the structure is a good, strong structure.  You build your character one deed at a time until the structure defines the person behind it.  And then you open that structure up to your loved ones so that they might be protected by it too. 

My father was a great man.  He touched everyone around him in such a positive way.  He loved his family with a passion that was unquestioned, and he was proud of each of us in so many ways.  He is the reason that we have become the people we are today, and I thank him for that.  For I can think of no better thing in the world than to be the legacy of this man.  Thank you Dad for all that you've done.  Thank you Dad for showing us to always think of others.  Thank you Dad for all the examples you set for us.  And thank you Dad for being there for me when I needed you.  You are so missed but you live on in all those you have touched.

James Grady Kendrick

November 1, 1916 - November 21, 2004

               

My father was one of those people who understood that to achieve greatness could only be done through maintaining strength of character in all that you do.  He instilled in his children the unerring credo that you must always do the right thing.  It doesn't matter if doing the right thing is difficult, or if doing the right thing is the popular thing to do.  What matters is you always stay true to your convictions, and your actions must be consistent with your beliefs.

My father was a very simple man.  Some people might say he was too simple in this world that is growing ever more complex.  But he understood that in everything there is a right way and a wrong way to do things and the only option is to do the right thing.  He once told me you build your reputation in the world by always taking the higher ground.  You build that reputation one positive action at a time and you are the only one who can tear that reputation down through your own actions.  Not your detractors, not your enemies, only you can tear your reputation down.  He once confided in me that he didn't understand why people didn't just treat others with respect and compassion.  He was continually confused by this fact so obvious to him but one that is often not followed by others.  It's a question I cannot answer, in fact I'm not sure there is an answer.

My father instilled in me a strong work ethic, for working as hard as you can is the only way to have no doubts about yourself at the end of the day.  He taught all his children to always help others, for some day we might need help ourselves and good deeds have a way of getting repaid when the time is right.  He taught us to be strong for those around us, but not to be afraid to bend when you have to.  He was a man that others knew they could depend on in their time of need.  He taught us that leading by example was the best way to be true to yourself, and to those around you. 

My father lived a hard life, but he took that in stride and did the best that he could with the cards he was dealt.  And in so doing, he taught us to do the same.  Don't cry about it, fix it was his philosophy, and it was a lesson hard learned, as important lessons often are.  He showed us that when you have troubles, the best course is often to set your own troubles aside and help those less fortunate than yourself.  Most importantly of all, he taught us that we are not the most important thing in the world.  Instead, the most important things were those around us.  He lived his life being there for the people that needed him, and those who knew and loved him will always thank him for that.

My father always led by example and to those of us fortunate enough to know him that example was a very good one.  He was not a man to get lost in the fluff of life, instead he believed you lay a solid foundation in the life that you have and then you build on that foundation until the structure is a good, strong structure.  You build your character one deed at a time until the structure defines the person behind it.  And then you open that structure up to your loved ones so that they might be protected by it too. 

My father was a great man.  He touched everyone around him in such a positive way.  He loved his family with a passion that was unquestioned, and he was proud of each of us in so many ways.  He is the reason that we have become the people we are today, and I thank him for that.  For I can think of no better thing in the world than to be the legacy of this man.  Thank you Dad for all that you've done.  Thank you Dad for showing us to always think of others.  Thank you Dad for all the examples you set for us.  And thank you Dad for being there for me when I needed you.  You are so missed but you live on in all those you have touched.

James Grady Kendrick

November 1, 1916 - November 21, 2004

               

Comments

[icarlin]

You have described a truely great and heroic man. We need more like him. I sympathize and empathize with what you have written.

[Soda]

I'm sure your dad is proud of you
that's what he really wanna see

[GoodThings2Life]

JK,

My thoughts echo those if icarlin and yourself-- your father seems like a true hero. Thank you for your very insightful post, and I hope that those reading it can come away with even a fraction of the wisdom he has passed on to you.

Best Regards,
Aaron

[Kevin C. Tofel]

It was a great post and tribute then... and still is.

[Ron P]

Here's to your Dad James. When we depart all we leave behind are memories to our loved ones, and our offspring themselves. It looks like your Father did well in all respects.
Your various comments over the years show how great an impression your Father left on you. It is great to have a Father like that. Have great day celebrating his life.
Ron P

[Fernando]

Hi James:

My mother passed away on Dec 29, 2004, a few weeks after your father. I remember very vividly reading this post back then, and also remember the comfort that it made me feel in how you expressed your sorrow and the legacy of your father, because I felt very similarly about my mother.

I have heard a lot that what we most remember about people is the way they make you feel. For making me feel good in times of sorrow, I thank you dearly.

This also means that I have been reading your column for over three years. Thanks also for the day to day posts.

[Jon Dee]

James - it is hard to believe that it is now three years since your Dad passed away. I remember reading your wonderful tribute back then. It reads as well today as it did back then. Nothing is better than reading something that is truly written from the heart. Your Dad was obviously a very special man.

[bluespapa]

Yes, still very moving, James. Thanks for sharing.

--Steve